lost and found guitaras

I hear a funny squeaking noise coming from the closet. suddenly everything seems very dirty to me and when I turn around the toilet's missing from the bathroom and the shower has moved over about a foot to the right.

curious.

later I investigate further, there is a large litter of kittens living in the closet, also a litter of puppies.

now I'm at a university of some kind. Dion is there somewhere, but not in sight and I have to interrupt a music lecture to read aloud from a letter I write about him. Everyone is understandably pissed. Anthony helps me away from the angry masses to slip out a side door.

I find what I think is a violin but when I open the case it's actually 2 banjos. very nice ones. they read, "guitaras" in fancy scroll on the side.

I want to keep them but my sister tells me I have to turn them in.

somehow I'm with Anthony again and there are a lot of naked women swimming nearby. He says he has to go take a nap, but when I ask him about it he says he has a hard-on and has to go lie down.

ohhh... I get it

3/2/09

it's dark out and a bunch of us are hanging out.

one of the guys we're with steals my gun and holds us all against our will.

he takes two cordless phones from the house, breaks them in two, and throws them on the lawn.

I know he's going to make us go to his house and christine is asleep.  

I sneak into her room to make sure she's safe and to let her know what's going on so she won't worry when she sees that I am gone.

I want to hurt this guy and take my gun back.

later, at his house, he wants to do drugs but all we want to do is hang out and watch movies or leave.  he finally lets us go and now I find myself walking down a street in grand junction with darwin.

it's sunny out now.

he wanted to show me the inside of this bar called cruisers but couldn't because it was no longer for sale.  I tell him it's okay because I already know what it's like inside.

Now I'm on a beach.  it's dark out again.

I'm with chris, standing on a boardwalk.  there are a lot of people milling around.

I want to find that guy and get my gun back.

I'm angry.

I don't know how to find him and I don't know anyone else's phone numbers either.

we're in a commercial bathroom at a later point and a pair of earrings arrive by post.  each earring sports double oblong hoops suspended from hook posts.  this tells me that the girl these earrings are meant for, a girl held captive with us, was in on it somehow.  I'm not sure what they meant to accomplish.

I'm back on the boardwalk.  a young man appears out of the crowd, his eyes are fixed on mine and I instantly like him and feel a spiritual connection.

he approaches me and tells me that I seem to be a "paperless girl" and that he thinks this is pretty cool.

he's much younger than I am, maybe 15 years, but he's very charming and I am enamored.

I ask him why being paperless is a good thing and he says,

"because then you can tape your thoughts to your pillow".

12/29/99

I'm in a bookstore by myself.

I'm looking for a gift for my friend melissa.  

I think to myself that there are an excessive amount of candles on the shelves.

I see a book with a taurus sign on the front and a cancer sign on the back.  there's a blue butterfly somewhere on or in the book.

I think it's perfect but there's something else I want and I only have enough money for the one book.  I contemplate writing a check.

I can't see the face of the woman behind the counter but she's got curly dark blonde hair and a beautiful bright glow about her.

The door is open and it's a beautiful, warm day outside.

The candles smell like clover and their colors are deep earthy tones of orange and green.

1/12/09

we stopped in iowa on the way to belize. 

there were a lot of people there, but his parents weren't.

there was a race or something going on.  on the last leg of it you had to jump into the water from a tall cliff and then sprint to the finish after swimming out.

james was there laying on a lounge chair next to a pool.  his girlfriend whispers something to him and he says, "that's her problem".

I realize later that my ass is showing, I'm wearing my short brown terry cloth dress that I wear around the house.

someone buys me flowers to wear as a pageant ribbon and shawn gives me a microfiber scarf that's very soft to help me cover up.

there are rows and rows of gifts leftover from christmas from nancy and everyone is standing around and having conversations about our trip.

12/29/08

large trees are falling.
they look like eucalyptus.

I can see people being pushed ahead of the fall by sheer force

12/27/08

Myself, my mom and my sisters are in my house.

I go to the bathroom. While I'm in there the lights flicker and the shower curtain opens all the way on it's own but I notice that it opens opposite the way we usually open it.
The lights around the house begin to turn off and on by themselves.

We're all in my bedroom. All of us are in my bed. We're huddled together, discussing what's going on.

The stereo or t.v. comes on in the living room. The volume goes way up and then way down.
The lights in my sisters room go on and off by themselves.

We discuss whether or not we should call the ghosts out, or if that will make it worse.
We decide to wait.

The commotion comes into the room and two ghosts manifest in front of us, a man and a woman. They're playfully tossing balls of something back and forth to each other and at us. I catch one and throw it back. It feels like silly putty. I think it's going to go through her but she catches it and throws it back at me.

I start talking to them, asking what they want. They say that they've come to give us a chance to argue our case. I ask them what case they're talking about.
"Whether or not you should go to hell of course".
They're looming over us, their faces are grotesque for a moment and in that moment I'm a little afraid, but this passes and their faces become friendly again

They give my older sister and I two fruits. They look like prickly pears but they're yellow.

They tell us that when we're ready we should take these (I think they mean for us to eat them? but I'm unsure) and we will be transported. I ask if it's dangerous. He says "Well yes, It's heroin".
I ask if we have to take them right away. They say no but that we should do it soon.

Afterwards my sister and myself are standing in line. I think we're at some kind of post office but for some reason everyone in line has "taken the trip to plead their case" or is about to. People are sending letters off and paying bills. The man-ghost is there and I ask him if we should be getting our affairs in order before we leave.
"Oh definitely, you may not be coming back." The ghosts are very friendly and a little playful.

I ask if there are any side effects that I should be aware of.

"No, not really. Maybe some slight birth defects or mental retardation in your child if you're pregnant...".
I see someone walk by with a toddler that looks "slow".
"...and sometimes people come back with these markings on their heads and are sometimes unable to grow their hair back. The design is actually kind of beautiful. It's like a rorschach in black. I see a small child and a man walking around with these designs on their heads. I mention that I wouldn't have to worry because my hair will grow back over the design. The ghost smiles.

I tell him I'm scared. He smiles again and says, "once you get there, you're not going to want to come back".

3/6/00

somehow I had gotten a glimpse of the future and knew sam berkowitz was going to stalk and kill me.

I'm in san diego with katie and kelly. I'm making them ditch this guy I thought might be him.
We run through a building that's set up like a parking garage. I run out the other side to a field.

There are cheerleaders on the sideline.
One of them says something to me and I grab her roughly by her ponytails and tell her to shut the fuck up or I'll beat her ass and then push her back.

At some point, the guy I think is him, is in my house saying that all he ever wanted was a family.

now I'm next to a beach and I see a rabbit hole with a dirt clod on the bottom that's moving so I pick it up.
It bursts open and throws hundreds of pinscher bugs all over me. they bite.
I finally get them all off of me but by then my skin is red and itchy.

I try to inch myself along the sea wall but something I grab is loose and I fall into the sea.
Fox Mulder pulls me out of the water right as the man I think is Sam Berkowitz tries to pull me out.

He hands me a box that says, "Billco" on it and walks away

Scully asks about the dirt clod.