3/2/09

it's dark out and a bunch of us are hanging out.

one of the guys we're with steals my gun and holds us all against our will.

he takes two cordless phones from the house, breaks them in two, and throws them on the lawn.

I know he's going to make us go to his house and christine is asleep.  

I sneak into her room to make sure she's safe and to let her know what's going on so she won't worry when she sees that I am gone.

I want to hurt this guy and take my gun back.

later, at his house, he wants to do drugs but all we want to do is hang out and watch movies or leave.  he finally lets us go and now I find myself walking down a street in grand junction with darwin.

it's sunny out now.

he wanted to show me the inside of this bar called cruisers but couldn't because it was no longer for sale.  I tell him it's okay because I already know what it's like inside.

Now I'm on a beach.  it's dark out again.

I'm with chris, standing on a boardwalk.  there are a lot of people milling around.

I want to find that guy and get my gun back.

I'm angry.

I don't know how to find him and I don't know anyone else's phone numbers either.

we're in a commercial bathroom at a later point and a pair of earrings arrive by post.  each earring sports double oblong hoops suspended from hook posts.  this tells me that the girl these earrings are meant for, a girl held captive with us, was in on it somehow.  I'm not sure what they meant to accomplish.

I'm back on the boardwalk.  a young man appears out of the crowd, his eyes are fixed on mine and I instantly like him and feel a spiritual connection.

he approaches me and tells me that I seem to be a "paperless girl" and that he thinks this is pretty cool.

he's much younger than I am, maybe 15 years, but he's very charming and I am enamored.

I ask him why being paperless is a good thing and he says,

"because then you can tape your thoughts to your pillow".

12/29/99

I'm in a bookstore by myself.

I'm looking for a gift for my friend melissa.  

I think to myself that there are an excessive amount of candles on the shelves.

I see a book with a taurus sign on the front and a cancer sign on the back.  there's a blue butterfly somewhere on or in the book.

I think it's perfect but there's something else I want and I only have enough money for the one book.  I contemplate writing a check.

I can't see the face of the woman behind the counter but she's got curly dark blonde hair and a beautiful bright glow about her.

The door is open and it's a beautiful, warm day outside.

The candles smell like clover and their colors are deep earthy tones of orange and green.

1/12/09

we stopped in iowa on the way to belize. 

there were a lot of people there, but his parents weren't.

there was a race or something going on.  on the last leg of it you had to jump into the water from a tall cliff and then sprint to the finish after swimming out.

james was there laying on a lounge chair next to a pool.  his girlfriend whispers something to him and he says, "that's her problem".

I realize later that my ass is showing, I'm wearing my short brown terry cloth dress that I wear around the house.

someone buys me flowers to wear as a pageant ribbon and shawn gives me a microfiber scarf that's very soft to help me cover up.

there are rows and rows of gifts leftover from christmas from nancy and everyone is standing around and having conversations about our trip.