12/29/08

large trees are falling.
they look like eucalyptus.

I can see people being pushed ahead of the fall by sheer force

12/27/08

Myself, my mom and my sisters are in my house.

I go to the bathroom. While I'm in there the lights flicker and the shower curtain opens all the way on it's own but I notice that it opens opposite the way we usually open it.
The lights around the house begin to turn off and on by themselves.

We're all in my bedroom. All of us are in my bed. We're huddled together, discussing what's going on.

The stereo or t.v. comes on in the living room. The volume goes way up and then way down.
The lights in my sisters room go on and off by themselves.

We discuss whether or not we should call the ghosts out, or if that will make it worse.
We decide to wait.

The commotion comes into the room and two ghosts manifest in front of us, a man and a woman. They're playfully tossing balls of something back and forth to each other and at us. I catch one and throw it back. It feels like silly putty. I think it's going to go through her but she catches it and throws it back at me.

I start talking to them, asking what they want. They say that they've come to give us a chance to argue our case. I ask them what case they're talking about.
"Whether or not you should go to hell of course".
They're looming over us, their faces are grotesque for a moment and in that moment I'm a little afraid, but this passes and their faces become friendly again

They give my older sister and I two fruits. They look like prickly pears but they're yellow.

They tell us that when we're ready we should take these (I think they mean for us to eat them? but I'm unsure) and we will be transported. I ask if it's dangerous. He says "Well yes, It's heroin".
I ask if we have to take them right away. They say no but that we should do it soon.

Afterwards my sister and myself are standing in line. I think we're at some kind of post office but for some reason everyone in line has "taken the trip to plead their case" or is about to. People are sending letters off and paying bills. The man-ghost is there and I ask him if we should be getting our affairs in order before we leave.
"Oh definitely, you may not be coming back." The ghosts are very friendly and a little playful.

I ask if there are any side effects that I should be aware of.

"No, not really. Maybe some slight birth defects or mental retardation in your child if you're pregnant...".
I see someone walk by with a toddler that looks "slow".
"...and sometimes people come back with these markings on their heads and are sometimes unable to grow their hair back. The design is actually kind of beautiful. It's like a rorschach in black. I see a small child and a man walking around with these designs on their heads. I mention that I wouldn't have to worry because my hair will grow back over the design. The ghost smiles.

I tell him I'm scared. He smiles again and says, "once you get there, you're not going to want to come back".

3/6/00

somehow I had gotten a glimpse of the future and knew sam berkowitz was going to stalk and kill me.

I'm in san diego with katie and kelly. I'm making them ditch this guy I thought might be him.
We run through a building that's set up like a parking garage. I run out the other side to a field.

There are cheerleaders on the sideline.
One of them says something to me and I grab her roughly by her ponytails and tell her to shut the fuck up or I'll beat her ass and then push her back.

At some point, the guy I think is him, is in my house saying that all he ever wanted was a family.

now I'm next to a beach and I see a rabbit hole with a dirt clod on the bottom that's moving so I pick it up.
It bursts open and throws hundreds of pinscher bugs all over me. they bite.
I finally get them all off of me but by then my skin is red and itchy.

I try to inch myself along the sea wall but something I grab is loose and I fall into the sea.
Fox Mulder pulls me out of the water right as the man I think is Sam Berkowitz tries to pull me out.

He hands me a box that says, "Billco" on it and walks away

Scully asks about the dirt clod.

3/30/04

ken and I go out into the middle of nowhere. It's like a camping area with a small town.
as we walk into town the first thing we see is a big frog. It looks pale and greasy like the frogs in pikmin.

I ask him, " do you know what this town is famous for?"

"frogs"

I explain to him that every year (or is it every few years?) the frogs take a young girl from the town.

As we get to the center of town we see a group of people standing around a giant hole that someone's dug. I can't see in the hole but someone says that the girl the frogs took last time was in there, but someone else says it's just a dog.

No one knows what the frogs do with the girls.

A little girl on the deck next to me drops some playing marbles out of her backpack. They fall in a row like this...

Ooo...

She says that it's bad luck for them to land and like that as I bend over to help her pick them up.

All the girls in the town work in a strip club and dance for dirty old men. I don't know where their parents are. One guy stands on a street wearing a strange mask, pointing a gun at people. Everyone says not to worry about him, he always does that.

The girls across the street are advertising for a car dealership. They are all wearing strange masks too and waving little american flags.

I remember thinking that I wish I had my camera.

5/5/00

There are a bunch of us in a lab, in a school maybe?

Everyone has turned into zombies except for a few of us. We all hide in a closet til we hear the zombies pass and then make a run for it.

We do this a second time and this time I get nipped on the back of the neck by a zombie that I know. I call him a stupid jerk.

The dream is actually pretty comical to me...

There are evil orange bunnies with huge fangs running around everywhere.

2/24/00 del twee

I'm walking through a deserted marketplace.  It feels like it's in another country, but still familiar.

I've dreamt about this place before, only last time I was here it was crowded and lively.

It has just finished raining, everything is dark and wet.  

I felt like someone was going to tell me to leave because there were many things of value left out and unattended.

I could've taken whatever I liked, 

but I didn't

2/24/00

I'm hanging out with some stuck up guy.  He looks like Rick Schroeder and has a lot of money.

He's hanging out with one of my girlfriends.  

I'm not being very nice to him because I think he's an asshole.

There's a huge pool, we're all swimming in it.  Suddenly, me and one other person are hanging from awnings made of seaweed, huge waves are crashing down on us and threatening to pull us into the ocean.  I keep slipping back, onto a lower awning but I don't let go or give up.  

I keep climbing up.

2/23/00

we're outside.

It's fall but the leaves on the trees haven't fallen yet.  It's dim but not dark out.

There are giant earthworms outside, 4 feet long, 7 inches in diameter.

They are very quick and darting everywhere.

There are also black panthers and jaguars that prevent us from running.

Katie is leaving.  There's a train running through the clearing, she's supposed to leave on the next one.  Jeremy from the harley shop was given a day of freedom and is nearby, in my room, with a black man.

I have a lot of brown eyeshadow on and I put more on, then take it off.  While I'm inside, Katie's train arrives.  She gets into the very front part of the train, the engine I think.  she hasn't said goodbye to me.

I try to get there but suddenly the train is gone and heading through the trees.  I run after it.  an earthworm hooks itself onto my lip.  I throw it off and start running again.  a panther attacks me, knocking me to the ground.  I let it take my coat and it leaves me alone.

I walk back to my room.  It feels like the renaissance outside and there are tables full of food, banquets, feasts.

I walk into my room.  Jared is talking to the black man and is telling him that he should keep his mouth shut because whatever he is saying is disgusting and that no one wants to hear it.

9/19/05

I'm in the woods in a house.

It's kind of like a cabin, there's never anyone there.

I took shawn with me, we took some pictures of ourselves on the couch.

Later I came back and a man was living there.  robert was there with his camera.  It was an SLR but for some reason it took medium format film.  Somehow our pictures were on his film.  He gave them to me.

I met the man who lived in the house.  He was nice and said I could hang out whenever I wanted.

I left.

I went to colin's house.  He had a lot of baby animals in a back room.  He was taking care of kittens, birds (ducks and swans), and ferrets. The ferrets were lying on the couch.

I walk over to the window.  There's a table in front of it with lots of framed pictures on it.

A little girl is standing there also.  I start to talk to her but when she starts talking she becomes a little demon, her face contorted.

She won't stop pulling my arm and saying crazy shit.

1/14/05

I am in a woman's house.  I think there's a bar downstairs, she lives upstairs.  In one room of her house you can hear God, and he picks you up in a ray of light.  It sounds like beautiful music and as you listen you begin to float if you let the music take you.

She told me the voices carried her out the window once and she floated around outside before they brought her back.  I thought that would be scary because it's on the 2nd story but she said she trusts God and the others not to drop her.

I went into the room later by myself and instead of being carried I was bitten.  I started to yell to her that I could feel it biting me.  She runs upstairs and starts talking to it.  

She said it was a demon, I think.  I couldn't hear it at first but then I could hear him say that there was something wrong with me, that he could taste it when he bit me.

He said there was panic in my blood.

5/6/04

Christine and I are at the steps of a house.  It looks haunted.  She wants to go inside but I don't.

There's a boy banging on the door, wanting to be let in.  

We leave and go back another day.  The boy is at the door again and Christine gets excited and says, "he's dead!  he has skin hanging off his face!"  She wants to approach him but I won't let her and he runs off.

She wants to go in the house again, and again I won't let her.

I think the boy has a disease and I don't want us to get it.  

later on we both get sick, we turn pale and break out in sores.  I know that we won't die, we'll be turned into disgusting undead things.

We are living in an abandoned house.  There is another girl there, a friend.  I ask Christine if she's alright.  She says she isn't.  She's playing video games in the living room.

I don't feel sick yet.  I look in the mirror.  I'm pale and greasy with sores hiding beneath the surface of my skin.  I know it's only a matter of time.

I think to myself that I will break the mirror when the sores break through because I won't be able to look at myself.

1/10/00

I go into my room and there's a box on my bed full of books and disorder.

I get a little upset at first because I think it's a box of trash, but then I find a very old "winnie the pooh" book with a blue cover.

My hair is long and partially pulled up.  I think to myself that it looks a little crazy but I like it.

I enter a room and everything is familiar and comfortable but I can't see anything clearly.  A song is playing. I think I've heard it once before when I was very young.  A man reassures me that I have.  I go into the kitchen and start to throw stuff away.  The kitchen is set up like our kitchen in san diego.  There are two doors or window shutters or something leaning against the back door.  I want to throw them out also but they are wet and smell deeply of water rot, and there are small slugs on them.  Colin walks in and says, "ew".

It starts to rain.  I think.  It's very grey outside and muddy.  A vague picture flashes through my head of me sitting in a mud puddle playing at a young age.

The sun comes out.

It's very bright out now and I find myself walking through town with Haas.  There are really ugly old women all around us.  I remember that the woman walking in front of us has bandages wrapping her very lumpy legs from top to bottom with pink leg warmers on over them.

come in

Welcome to the first day of the rest of my dreams.

I dream often, and strangely, and find that the stories in my head make for interesting reading.  If not for you then definitely for myself.

witness the bedlam.

I will go back to the beginning, skip around, and fill in the gaps with new, old, strange, scary, grotesque and sometimes disturbing imagery. 

I hope you find it... 

well, let's just hope you find something in it.

I have